Reassurance

Another usual long day at work and you come back home exhausted. 

No energy to cook, so it is yesterday's leftovers for meal tonight.

Turn on laptop and scroll through your news feeds to check what is happening all around the globe.

Look at happy, shiny couples. Wonder when you will be part of one. Friends and colleagues on fancy holidays in exotic locations, makes you think how do people roam around and you have so much to bang your head into.

A couple of wedding photographs and happily-ever-after later, you don't feel like going any further. It's the same, irritating story every day. 

You shut down Facebook. Check your phone, hoping for some messages. No new notifications. No hellos, no good nights.

Even that person who kept pestering you with messages, doesn't seem to be doing it anymore. Feeling weird and lonely, you put yourself to sleep. Because no one else will, right?

Why does one message matter that much anyway? When did a virtual message become that important? Isn't it stupid to look forward to them? No. The truth is that a message has become much more than just a form of communication. It is a reminder that someone, somewhere is thinking about you. A reassurance. 

A reminder that no matter how exhausting the day was, it's going to be a good night. And it's okay to want that.

So this is for the one who cry themselves to sleep thinking that no one cares, for the night crawlers who yearn to talk to someone special who tells them how much they mean to them, and for the hopeless romantics. It's okay to be needy. It is perfectly normal to expect.

You should know that even though it has been a rough day (or days and more), tomorrow will be a new day. The dawn will bring with it the sound of chirping  birds and endless laughter, the fragrance of the early morning air and that special someone, the amazing feeling of the dew drop and a hand on yours. Know that it is just the day which is over, not your life.

You might have to wait a little longer for that person who sends you the last message you read before going to sleep, but you will not have to wait for the message today.

Good night, you beautiful,

You have been strong and I am proud of you.

daddy

Going though some old pictures I came across a picture with daddy.
All decked up in a white bandhgala at a family celebration, holding me close while I slept (I must have been 1 then) he looked sharp.

Not all super heroes wear capes, daddies are the real super humans.
If ever I get a life again I wish we get back these roles, because there is something I cant define about you and cannot get enough of you !

I am tough because you are strong. 
Nothing affects me more then your reaction to anything.
I absolutely love the way you get restless when I am not well, the way you call me 'laddoo', the way we poke mom, the way you call me 4 times every day, the way you are into your children and so much more.
Although I do not like when you force me to eat apples.

You are my constant in the ever changing life, for now and forever and more.
If ever it happens that nobody loves me in this world, I know for the fact that you will still love me with all your heart.

I have been giving some real time lately, but you know how things are :P, but its alright.
We will sort it soon.
I must tell you that I trust you and no-one listens to me the way you do.

The way you have the best handwriting, the way you have pushed me to think beyond just ordinary.

But daddy I think you should smile a little more, although I like the tough look too. 
But still we can try ... whatsay :*

we are the better team at home, mom sometimes tries to out do, but we know how it is. 
I love you and more and more and much much more :) 

To all the daddies out there, yours is the most thankless job but you are doing it really well.
To all the children out there, please take sometime off from your social/economic responsibilities to make parents feel your presence.

Make it count

The more things change, the more they remain the same.

You might love him with all your heart, but expression can make a lot of difference.

You need to ensure that this expression reaches the right person and correct place when there is still time.

Tell him

That he is magical, even if it is just his presence,

That he smells amazing, even if it is just his aftershave,

That he is fun, even if it is just his silence,

That he is game, even if it is just his eyes,

That he cooks well, even if it is just noodles

That he is fantastic, even if it is just his chaos,

That he is caring, even if it is just his stupid conversation,

That you love his mess, even if it is just his hair,

That he is crazy, even if it is for his plans,

That he is high, even if it is his football craze,

That he is madness, even if it is his mood,

That he has a vibe, even if it is for his colors (in all forms),

That he is heart, even when you have your own,

That he is love, because you never felt so convinced.

So, tell him now because tomorrow may just be a dream.

"at the end all that matters is love".

I would have if I could have

Never did I realize that this might be something I might have to rethink about ...

Today I would have had you but I dont and the reason is because I did not consent when the time was just right .

I might have to settle for someone who might just love me more that you but I might not be able to reciprocate, because I cannot get over and trust me it is really tough.

I don't have an option now ... I don't have you and you won't be convinced.

No one knows about this and the absolute pain remains inside me.

How I wish I could travel back in time to make just a few corrections and get all this mess in a good shape.

We all Sit and talk about destiny, but when it really dawns it is painful and heartbreaking sometimes

I have been very mean and have been finding someone who can help me move on and get over you... But no luck.

How I wish things would be a lot different, trust me 'I would have if I could have' the power to rephrase and set the situations right.

We might be at distance and there is a lot of communication gap but I am still not able to decide if we are over or there is still some hope for me in there.

the moral of the story remains, say it when it matters the most and nothings change there-after.

Hollow within

The decisions which are made to please others can never give you the happiness that you deserve and sometimes it is just not meant to be.

They might decide for you but you will bear the life-long consequences.

I am aarzoo, and he is Ronak. 

We are married for almost 2 years now and I am not still not able to decide weather it was destiny or was it forced. 

I used to like a guy, we were good together and we spoke to our parents to take this ahead but as anticipated they did not agree. Parents are programmed to be reactive in such a situation. 

Anyways, it did not work. I also gave into the family pressure.

So it was then they found Ronak for me, whom according to them was the best match.
He was rich and more rich, he liked the girl and girl's consent was not needed. [They were not ready for a 'NO'].

I chose him because my parents felt that it was right and he was good enough. Since then we are together not by choice obviously.

He never considered me as a partner but just an anointed wife, we are like flatmates, share his surname and don't share bills because I don't earn.
Time and again he reminds me that he had so many proposals to consider for alliance but he considered me because the family insisted.

He has a routine and I have a husband. He follows his heart and I follow his instructions. 
I have nothing to talk to him, even if I do it results in a monologue because nothing makes him happy. He is a difficult man to please and I am tired of giving it a try.

He comes home and he finds time for Indian economy & newspapers but me. He has time for his swimming, gaming,gym and tennis regime but his wife. 

I am not allowed to find a job and work because I never used to, moreover he does not want me to work for some 20 thousand rupees. [He earns much more then needed, still I am not a happy wife :)]

I don't remember if we have a single happy picture together, not even from our honeymoon. It is because they is a unsaid vacuum. No-one understands but there is no connection.

I am not allowed to go out with friends because he does not approve of it and think I am better off at home. 

I tried telling my mom that we don't talk and to this her answer was that "time heals everything".

We have his friends coming over every weekend so that we don't have to spend the entire day together yet alone. 

For once I tried talking to him about how lonely I feel and he suggested that lets have a baby so that you are occupied and have a company too.

I feel like a machine, everything is just perfect in my house food, laundry, furniture, bills. The only thing missing is life.

I have recently moved to United states with him because he wanted to and I was supposed to.

but I am still looking for happiness which I believe I deserve.

I am the only one suffering, because everyone else feels that he is good enough.

unbelong !

Another new year rings in with a lot of anticipation, speculations, hopes, wishes, and positive energy around.

10 things that can make life simple this year:

1. expect the reality in its original form,
this is the best form of giving oneself a reality check. one would really care but you are the affected party, so try to be true to yourself.

2. The past has died and the fresh beginning await to see the reality.
the changes in human life are usually permanent so it is indeed necessary to start afresh.

3. never stop trying, there is always a room for improvement for the better in whatever u do and think.

4. try new things, don't hold yourself back and submit to the conventional setups... who knows there is a lot in-stored for you on the other side.

5. Retrospect yourself with time, and set some goals to achieve.

6. Take it easy, when the situation is tough.

7. Stop Overthinking about things, it spoils it totally.

8. Socialize more and make new friends, it gives you a lot more on people perspective.

9. give yourself some quality time, go solo .... lone time can be a real power booster.

10. smile and be happy, positive vibrations have their own impact on the souls.

Happy new year !!!!

Live in this moment ...

One fine day, while I was clearing my emails I realized that there was this note, a wedding invite of a long lost friend whom I had hardly heard from in last years(actually decade).

Although, I am not sure if it was personally sent or was a part of the bulk invite that was sent to all the contacts in the mailbox as a formality to keep a safe side that everyone was invited.

In such cases, not many but just very few of these invitations are accepted ... anyways.

So, while I started connecting dots as to how did we start knowing each other and then when was the last that I met her. I remembered that we were together in the primary class 3.. long time indeed.

She was my best friend then and we used to share the same bench. Were together for 3 years until the sections were shuffled and we went from being best friends to friends to acquaintances to contacts.

But this is usually what happens to us, we meet people, serve our purpose and move on. Hardly do we realize how many bonds will be broken and how many will we carry for life ahead.

If you by any chance get to see your birthday photo albums from past years, you will realize that the guest list on your birthday will keep on changing. There will be shuffling and modifications every year.

Some no more friends, some new friends, some lost and found friends.

Social Media has now a days has made it easier to keep in touch with a lot of estranged bonds, so now you know what are they up to, where do they live, where do they work, relationship status etc.

You cant go and haunt people every now and then just because you were friends at some point in time, there some this social media to your rescue.

We all have differences with someone or the other and then it moves to 'no talking terms' status.

But then it is no point keeping a grudge against someone, for a simple reason that you might never really meet that person to settle your scores.

This is how life has turned into now, this is why I believe people say live in the moment because there is no way you recreate the harmony and symphony of each passing rhythm of time.

My Way !

One evening during a social outing, I observed a few in the gathering who were so desperate to be the part of the existing gang.
Usually Going by the majority decision, people are driven against their own individuality. 

The main driving force for this is that people generally dont tend to stand alone by themselves. Being a pushover is very comfortable but ....... not happening !!!

I dont share things will all, like many of them do instead I like to mind my business myself but that does not make me anyway rude or affable because that is the way I am conceptualized. I feel things are more manageable when they are not spread wide.

I dont like to frown and cry about what has happened, others wont be able to carve a solution for me instead I would be for myself. 
However, that does not mean I am unaffected by the circumstances instead staying by my side it the best I can to help myself. 

I know my path and mind my steps, unlike some who find it amusing to be all casts and all ways, instead I like to keep things in place for that shall work fine for me.

No matter how strong I pretend to be, I do have my weaknesses and insecurities, my downfalls and my tantrums, my randomness and my sophestication, my choices and my ways.

I get frightened with the sound of thunderstorms on lonely nights.....
I get hurt when someone gets angry with me and shouts… 
I sometimes feel lonely and want someone to hold my hands and make me feel wanted and loved… 
I want someone to hug me and protect me so no one can hurt me… 
I want someone kiss my forehead and assure me that everything will be all right… because sometimes I wish to be a little girl inside..

Being high on substance and moral is better than being high on profile ... Always !!!

What if it works !

The starting are always beautiful, because they have an element of surprise in stored. But by the time you reach the middle of it, you may (or probably may not!) loose interest in the undertaken.
The theory stands true for all segments in life, including relationships also.

While we start liking a person, we are madly, deeply and passionately in love (even if it is not that !) with all that is attached to that individual. 
But in due course of time when the you catch hold of the someone you thought would be 'Hard to Get' person and mystery unfolds, that cupid struck love flies and reality dawns.
Suddenly, everything looks usual, boring and waste of productive time (as if, would have otherwise launched a space mission by now!).

The reason is not lack of time, interest or hope but it is our own ideology in life making things turn bitter.

First being our own apprehensions in life about "what if!" scenario & 'Let's-end-this-before-it-gets-started' technique
Always in a defencive mode, which makes us be afraid to get into a relationship, afraid to get out of it, afraid to dump, afraid to get dumped. Lots of fear resides inside.

Next, We tend to me a lot more materialistic than required. Today, we would rather have an iPhone than a partner
it is all about my phone, my laptop, my clothes, my watch.

We tend to keep grudges and never let it go. Once broken in love, we are too bitter to let it go.
It is completely fine if didn't work out in the first place. Stop being bitter. Give love another chance. You can not change the what is destined but can always make things work till you drop.

We want it to be the best than the rest. The reason is loud and simple - can't deal with flaws and look for perfection.
Our generation is so obsessed with perfection that we can't deal with the smallest of flaws. "He is nice but he is dark", "She is smart but she is short".
We need to realise that we've grown up and the world is much more than just these.

We aspire for things until we have achieved what we want. Once the 'chase' ends, everything ends.
Met someone new --> exchange numbers --> Conversations --> Ask out --> dates --> Dinners --> loose interest --> start avoiding --> its over (no talking terms mostly :P !).
Then after a while, Met someone new --> exchange numbers --> Conversations --> Ask out --> dates --> Dinners --> loose interest --> start avoiding --> its over. And the loop goes on.
We know the drill all too well, don't we?

We are out there - on social media websites, on dating apps, at parties, but all this while, are we really available? We are available, but never really available.
We hide our inhibitions and are scared out of our wits to be alone. We try to be the part of the gang just to prove to ourselves that we are not loners. We exist... Don't we ?

We meet people at a rapid pace and drop them even faster.,
We keep looking for options - for something better. We do not want to settle for less

We dread of being labelled, most of us think why get into the trouble of labelling relationships. 
We are afraid of defining them because then people would know. And we'd not be able  to end this 'thing' as easily as we would have done otherwise. For God sake, no one has time to spend it on you completely, they have there own nut and screws to fix .. Isn't it?

Our mentality about the concept of love is screwed. (Let's face it !)
Most of us haven't been in love and don't even understand what it is. For us, it's a game that we think we know too well. But that is not the case, you have to live the feeling to get the stats right :)

We have bound ourselves so tight against the shackles of social bindings that search of the right time does not let us find some ever!

So give some space to tinder, go out, meet people rather than adding them on Facebook, have a real conversation instead of sharing emotes, and don't be afraid to give love a chance! It will be worth it.

Awwww ...

One fine morning, I was still to open my eyes, but already on Facebook... thanks to the smart phone that makes me smarter by the day! <-- Pun intended :) >

Suddenly came across a trending notification on the networking site that instantly grabbed my attention.

It was one of my friend wishing her husband on his birthday.

So it was a picture of both of them together and she had tagged him to let the world know that she loved him real much. And the rest was done by the selflessly kind and true friends adding to the likes and comments in the follow.

I mean what???? Don’t they live together to wish each other (--‘in their face’)?????

What is it that these couple are trying to do by putting their love and affection for all to see, risking that they might be getting a nasty backlash from others?

But anyhow, it has lately been a trending custom on the social networking site (SNS), wherein people wish their family on internet. The reason is not sentimental but social display of the bond that is shared. (-- oh yeah!)

There were times when, Personal Expressions were limited to written letters, calls or in person conversations.

But the era has changed now, you want to get some personal details about a person? 

SNS are the best source of information (-- sometimes reliable too). 

Go peek into his id, you’ll get all the information right from his birthday to the places recently visited, from his friends to his immediate family, from the relationship status to evolutionary profile pictures. And then you are ready to attack. (not literally though!)

Almost 3 years back, getting 30 likes on a profile photo was an achievement, but today it has no limits. Interestingly, a friend recently struck 960 likes in 3 hours on a display picture of hers. Gosh!!

Below are some tricks to improve your visibility on SNS (tested and proven: P)

1.      Change a display picture, and then randomly tag people so that you appear is as many walls as possible to get a compliment (-- boys cannot be sure of that also ^_^).

2.      Send friend request to all those you know (-- even if it is just their name)

3.      Poke random crowd so that they visit your profile. (--who knows, you might get lucky!)

4.      Shine in your peer group by managing maximum number of likes on the posts and pictures shared. Being a highest grossers makes you star. (--always works!)

5.      Message people complimenting them. Even if they don’t reply, you have at least tried.  (--just try to make a little sense. If possible!)

6.      Share the entire album of your latest vacation, to make people realize how outgoing and happening you are. (--entire means all, no editing, no selection, including crap :S)

7.      Update your status timely, so that the world knows what exactly you feel (--that is all that they are living on earth for! Really!)

8.      Comment on all the pictures you see. No relevance required!

Disclaimer - The above will definitely prove worth some popularity, but don’t rely on experiences alone. Go for some inventions too.

Recommendation - Try getting a life, if possible….