Time Please !

Winning may be a habit, sometimes a want, a passion, a dream, but reality can always

vary.

There necessarily has to be one winning position, so what about the rest?

Yes, they loose, loose to the winner!

Life is not just about winning, it is more about learning, planning, executing and then introspecting.

It is completely fine to goof-up at times, loose a match, bunk a class, fail an exam, miss a train, skip a schedule, spoil an interview, an unwise decision at times, have a breakup, start a fight, no preplanned, pamper yourself, poking a friend, secret outing, a healthy lie, a little secret.

This makes you believe in the human aspect of life, making mistakes is considerable; nobody has ever won without stumbling through small failures before getting to the goal [or reaching at least close].

Life is all about how you perceive things, not about your temperament and aptitude or prevalent situation.

Being a good heart is more important and tough than being a winner.

Winning gives you confidence, pride, contentment, satisfaction, accolades whereas failure tells you that you need to push it little harder and better, be more focused, more patient, more passionate, and more hopeful.

But till the time you are ready to grow, compensate and idolise your failure, it is nothing grave and wrong.

Nobody really cares about your grades and degrees, your presentation and trophies.

People will only remember you for the good you do to them, for the soul you share with them, your smile and a happy heart in you.

The more you think about profit and loss, the deeper you sink in the density of materialism without being able to ever enjoy what is at hand. It is never about morals and ethics, but about your perception towards situation and being able to take on the reality.

Contentment is the greatest virtue, if we do not feel elevated or satisfied about what we already have; nobody can help us achieve this.

There is no end to desire, but there is a big difference between need, wants and desire.

Life cannot be lived while you keep comparing with what anyone else has, no two people can be the same nor can their situation, circumstances and lives be. So it leads you nowhere.

So, give time some time, and things automatically fall into place to make you feel alive again!!!

Like a SUNSHINE....

When we first met, I was a little apprehensive about this relationship to happen and did not anticipate things to turn prettier and brighter so soon.

But now when I look back and see how all this started, it stuns me completely, and not to mention that this time the cupid has struck the right chord.

I always dreamt of a man, a soul mate, not to complete my existence but rather share my completeness. You are the one who lets me be me, who not just desires a relationship but also knows how to sail through the tough. You are always less hassled so to let me freak out. Just what I needed !!

You don't need to be perfect, neither a rock star, nor a man who keeps a high profile, but just a man who has some brains over his shoulders and an unconditionally loving heart (of course healthy bank balance is a concern too ^_^) .

I long to spend time with you because it is some quality time spent, for it is not a matter of milestone, but moments. with you all I have to be is myself, no baggage of how to react, no worries, no responsibility, nothing to crave for, nothing obsolete.

In the coffee shop, you quietly sit sipping your coffee and I start talking and talking and then some more and all you do is be patient and have that 'Yes, go ahead' smile.. in an passive agreement made to all my fizzy thoughts.

While we go shopping and I make you try 1000 shirts to pick 1, but you are least irritated.
During drives, there are a thousand questions unanswered in my head and I start volleying them at you in anticipation of a wise answer each time.

After an absolutely tiring day at office, the magic of two hearts talking to harmony till 4 Am in the morning makes it even worthwhile.

To me, our every single, small, stupid, silly conversation means more than you can ever imagine.Each time I look at you, I fall in love all over again.

The intensity in your eyes and your care takes me by stance and makes me ponder if this is real and for sure!
It is like until we meet I was living pretty well, but it is with you when I realised that I can be happy also.

At dinners, you start praising me and go on till its late and time to drop me back.

Like a sunshine I feel you already glittering my soul.  

You might be you most logical man to the entire world, but the way you pamper me in the most insane manner, that palpable sense of belonging make me feel out of this world.

Stay there, stay mine, stay always is all that I wish for!!! 

Dad calling!

Every time the phone shows 'Dad Calling', it is not just the daily status call, it is more than that and in fact life taking now a days.

In line with all my expectations it is the same story again. The dialogues (rather monologues) are same, the discussions repeats, the rebel is expected, all this because the topic is the same, its 'Marriage'.
I am given a list of profiles to peep through and choose if I am able to find my true Love (from the available options).(pun intended)

The call disconnects with a genuine warning that they'll call me back soon to check if I am still alive after this self-professed suicide.

It all started when one fine day, I was told about registration on a matrimonial site, which is known to search suitable matches for all the desperate grooms and their families hunting (literal terms) for a normal girl (for their incarnated son)who necessarily maps to:
being beautiful beyond expectation, presentable beyond exception, homely beyond requirement, educated beyond degrees, caring beyond limits, respectful beyond stature and a wealthy linage as well. Anything that adds to the list after these would be cherished.

Gazing through the profiles on laptop, fingers ticking the forward arrow with no expectation, eyes least interested, mind full of thousand unanswered questions to ponder apart from this, every profile has the same question 'Why him?'.
I did find some of them funny but nothing convincing, all this while I felt saying 'Kill me Please !'.

Parents are right in their own perspective, but I want some more time to be given to my aspirations.
Marriage is necessary but is the person not important? There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.
I don't need somebody to complete me, rather I want him to share my completeness.
Parents rebuke us to speak to 'Strangers' but they force you for an 'Arranged marriage'.

If I bluntly disagree I may be hurting their nested faith in me, I am doing wrong to them, but if I blindly agree it would be compromising with the biggest and the most important decision in my life.

Despite the entire storm of thoughts is making a swirl in my brain the question still remains, it is too late for me to be single or too early to get married ?

Just when I was in the middle of this entire mental chaos, phone rings and the screen shows 'Dad

Calling'.

Just a little unhealthy.

I walk into the house after a real tiring day at office with drowsy feet, head spinning, bag sagging, no energy to use the key to unlock the gate, I press
the doorbell for my friend Priya to do the honours.
She opens the door with a moderately cheerful smile, and I get in... throwing my bag, heels, hairband, watch, studs and phone somewhere to be picked up a
little later.

Sitting on the sofa, looking at Priya eating 'Healthy' (just fruits) apple, musk melon and some unknown thing... I wont even bother to learn the name....
She is on a diet plan, pledged not to take in grains but just fruits and salad
I did not pay much attention as this was a daily activity.
I asked her for dinner but she as expected denied, I also did not force...(because people tend to see jealousy for concern ;) ).

She told me that she had lost some weight in last few days this way, she was super excited about this.
'Wow' I said in agreement to make her feel even more happy and motivated.
Though still in doubt if she had actually lost some matter (I guess it was the brain section that went off ;) )

Whatever, I had my food properly and was busy with my not so important but high priority tasks before going for a good night sleep.

Suddenly, I started wondering why some people are so not interested in food after all it is the best thing that can keep you alive (second of course being
true love ♥) .

I love my food, my source of survival,  what if I am not on the thinner side but then:

At least I don't drop unconscious and have people sympathising.

At least I am not starving against my wish.

At least I enjoy my meal and do not dwell on fruits alone.

At least I have something to engross into and get away with my stress.

At least I don't have to look to fill my stomach when I am starving.

At least I wont regret to 60, to have enjoyed food when the time was right.

At least I do what I wish to, not just because eating less is the trend.

If these are not enough to justify, feel at peace and think that you are just a little healthier and happier side of the world. At least you don't die to
eat rather you live to eat.

Try having a hot melted browny while you feel low, having an ice cream in the evening while an evening walk, having a coffee with a friend over some
gossips, having a pizza share when happy, watching a exciting movie with a popcorn tub, having a packet of chips when stressed.
Food gives you means and options to celebrate, share, be happy, bond, pamper yourself, relax and more.

So love food, enjoy it, relish it after all it is one of the best stress buster any one can have !!!

It happened !!!

Today, sitting on my window, my hands folded and resting on each other, eyes gazing at the rain drops out there wondering how these showers disappear as soon as they hit the ground.

Gentle wind blowing in my hair made the thousand unanswered thoughts gush cross in my mind with each passing breath.
I loved this rain, this mood, this loneliness, this strength, this soulful time with myself.

The entire ambience was taking me away from all the worldly fuss, noise, commotion, worry, tensions, stress, time lines, commitments, fears within me and to the time I had lived and lived with you, the time well spent.

I start living the last summer again, when we were together, you were near, the times were happy, the sun shone bright, and life was easier, and I did SMILE.
I had a shoulder to cry, a hand to hold, a heart who loved, a soul to share, a person to care. The world was all the same but I had YOU.

This was not the first time in this last one year without you that I had a heavy heart, a uneasy soul, these puffy eyes, and tears rolling down my cheeks and my heart hoping against all hopes that you would return.

There used to be nights I used to cry and sleep just waiting for you to call, wanted to speak to you, fight with you, you would tell me about your day and ask me how am I, will tell you all the stories of the day, what did I cook, what did you eat, will discuss something weird, some laughs to share, some sorrows to divide, some possessiveness to be shown, would sleep while the call is on and you would cut the line and sleep with a smile on your face. All of that did not happen !

You kept doing wrong and I kept on cursing myself that it must be my mistake to have not spoken to you properly, to have bothered you, to have exaggerated any matter. 
I still am not sure if my heart will ever consent that -'Yes, you did wrong to me, I am hurt', and this is because it loved you a little too much, but that's alright.
I am still not able to believe that I have lost you, whatever may be the reasons. But this has cost me all that I had.

Yes, it was painful and in fact very difficult for me to come out of this.
U started from being just another face and slowly you became the very important part of my existence.
It took me a very long time to getup and tie myself together and to accept the fact that you wont be there.
But this does not bother me much anymore, you have a life so do I and we have moved on. Rather than being sad for the fact that it is over I am satisfied that it happened.

"Time, circumstances, priorities define a relationship status more than people and their commitments do".

I did not realise when I had these tears rolling down my eyes to my heart and the painful part is that you will never realise that it happened.