Powered By Blogger

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

It happened !!!

Today, sitting on my window, my hands folded and resting on each other, eyes gazing at the rain drops out there wondering how these showers disappear as soon as they hit the ground.

Gentle wind blowing in my hair made the thousand unanswered thoughts gush cross in my mind with each passing breath.
I loved this rain, this mood, this loneliness, this strength, this soulful time with myself.

The entire ambience was taking me away from all the worldly fuss, noise, commotion, worry, tensions, stress, time lines, commitments, fears within me and to the time I had lived and lived with you, the time well spent.

I start living the last summer again, when we were together, you were near, the times were happy, the sun shone bright, and life was easier, and I did SMILE.
I had a shoulder to cry, a hand to hold, a heart who loved, a soul to share, a person to care. The world was all the same but I had YOU.

This was not the first time in this last one year without you that I had a heavy heart, a uneasy soul, these puffy eyes, and tears rolling down my cheeks and my heart hoping against all hopes that you would return.

There used to be nights I used to cry and sleep just waiting for you to call, wanted to speak to you, fight with you, you would tell me about your day and ask me how am I, will tell you all the stories of the day, what did I cook, what did you eat, will discuss something weird, some laughs to share, some sorrows to divide, some possessiveness to be shown, would sleep while the call is on and you would cut the line and sleep with a smile on your face. All of that did not happen !

You kept doing wrong and I kept on cursing myself that it must be my mistake to have not spoken to you properly, to have bothered you, to have exaggerated any matter. 
I still am not sure if my heart will ever consent that -'Yes, you did wrong to me, I am hurt', and this is because it loved you a little too much, but that's alright.
I am still not able to believe that I have lost you, whatever may be the reasons. But this has cost me all that I had.

Yes, it was painful and in fact very difficult for me to come out of this.
U started from being just another face and slowly you became the very important part of my existence.
It took me a very long time to getup and tie myself together and to accept the fact that you wont be there.
But this does not bother me much anymore, you have a life so do I and we have moved on. Rather than being sad for the fact that it is over I am satisfied that it happened.

"Time, circumstances, priorities define a relationship status more than people and their commitments do".

I did not realise when I had these tears rolling down my eyes to my heart and the painful part is that you will never realise that it happened.

No comments:

Post a Comment